I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
