and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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