So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Randomize
