I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
