I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
