The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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