We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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