Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
