I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
