I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
