I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize