omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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