I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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