wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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