i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
