I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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