So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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