I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
either way he was missing a nipple.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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