I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
