just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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