I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
