I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Someone came in the potted fern
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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