i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
