hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
