Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
