the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
