bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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