Got a toothbrush?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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