You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
