You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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