Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
