wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize