no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
