Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ladies don't puke and tell
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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