guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
