what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
