either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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