So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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