If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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