I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
