it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
