omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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