The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
