He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The adults are the big ones right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
