i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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