it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
