I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
