And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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