I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
