I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
