I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize