I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
