oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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