Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
