Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
