I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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