So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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