i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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